100 or more Ways for Navi and or Tingle to go bye!
by D-Jumper
Summary: So we take two of the most annoying characters in the zelda series, and do in either one, the other, or my favorite... both! Wheehee! If you can, review and give me ideas for the next way to do them in! Woohoo! So come on in and watch them go... bye-bye!
1. 1, Death by Kokiri Sword

1000 Ways to kill Navi and/or Tingle!

Way no.1- Death by Kokiri Sword

T'was a normal day in Kokiri Forest, Link sleeping off his two slices of bomb-roasted pie, Mido being a jerk, Saria playing her ocarina, and even skull kid was having a good time. Until…

*Glass shatters* Link woke up to hearing his window shatter, and instinctively went to protect his dining table from pie-eating monsters- but this monster was far worse than that… for it… was… Navi!

"Hey!" Link stood in front of his dining table, and slowly said "Um… Hi?" For a moment, Navi seemed sane, (apocalypse?) until… "Listen!" Link made the mistake of thinking that Navi might've actually become sane, and asked, "…yeah?"

After a few moments without an answer, Navi said again, "Listen!" Now annoyed, and uncertain of Navi's sanity, Link said "Okay, What?" but, instead of receiving an answer, Navi went insane and started to spout out, "Hey! Listen! Listen! Hey!" until at last Link couldn't take it anymore, and sliced Navi in two. "I can't take another second of Navi nagging into my ear." And with that, Link ate another slice of his pie and went to sleep.

Revived by Pie Scent.


	2. 2, Death by Navi Pie Bomb

1000 Ways to kill Navi and/or Tingle!

* * *

Credit for this one goes to** Lord-Dark-Link**, and I'm sorry that I didn't do it the exact way that you asked. Although… Brilliant suggestion! I hope that you have another one!

* * *

Way no. 2- Death by Navi Pie.

Link slashed the target dummy upside, downside, sideways, and wayside as he went into an attack frenzy. "Gotta make sure I don't get rusty." He muttered to himself as he took a break, opening up his picnic basket made out of spare twigs.

"Mmm… Pie…" He muttered, and moved in to take a bite… but stopped just before he bit into it. Slowly, he looked around, to make sure that nobody else was there to steal his pie, and sighed in relief.

Once more, he moved in to take a bite of heaven… but his slice of heaven was splattered all over the grass as a certain little blue fairy rushed to where link was, and instead flew straight into his pie.

Slowly, Link looked down in disbelief, his snack ruined. But this wasn't the first time…

_Flashback_

_Link sat on a branch high up in a tree, feeling satisfied with the day's work. Link took out his slice of pie from his many pockets to hammerspace, and was about to take a bite, but he was startled by a small blue ball of light that flew right past his face._

_Freaked out, he began flailing, and increased his flailing when he felt himself losing balance. Eventually, he fell down from the branch and fell to the ground. Hard. Feeling a sense of numbness overtake his limbs, he wondered what happened to his pie._

_A wet and sticky feeling on his chest quickly answered that. Looking up, Link saw the cause of his distress, and it was fluttering right above him. "Hey!" Link groaned, and passed out._

_End of flashback_

In a fit of rage, Link captured Navi in a bottle, and went to his house. Link then stuffed Navi into a baked pie, in which he then proceeded to place- a bomb. Link lit the one minute fuse, then went to look for Tingle, who kept stealing money from him in the hopes that he could buy a map to a land where fairies roam free.

After fifteen seconds, Link found him, and went up to him. Link proceeded quickly, running out of time. "Hey, Tingle, if you eat this pie, then fairies will come up to you because of the fairy-bringing spell that this pie has!" 20.

"This pie will let me get a fairy? Okay!" 17. Link shoved the pie into Tingle's hands, then ran home as fast as his legs could carry him. After about fifteen seconds, a loud explosion echoed through Kokiri forest, and then silence.

Link sat back and sighed happily, the two biggest nuisances in Hyrule and Termina now gone, and took a bite of well-earned pie. Slowly, he drifted asleep…

* * *

Revived by Main story plot thing.


	3. 3, Death by Fairy

1000 Ways to kill Navi and/or Tingle!

* * *

Credit for this one goes to** HatchetChu**. Probably not exactly what ya had in mind, but hopefully it turned out well.

* * *

Way no. 3- Death by "Fairy".

Link had his hands behind his head, lying down on the bed, thinking over a problem… the man obsessed with fairies. It'd been ok when Tingle tried to eat Navi to turn into a fairy, but when he tried to eat Saria's fairy, Link got irritated. A lot.

"Urrgh! Why can't I think of anything!" Link thought over the situation, then snapped his fingers, getting inspiration. "If he thinks that eating fairies… Yeah!" Link ran back to his treehouse and began shifting through all his old gear until he found a bottle and two bags.

Link took out a bomb and began looking for some kind of paint until he found a small mixture of cement, which he then proceeded to dye pink-ish. Then he carefully painted over the bomb to look like a fairy… a very chubby one, might I add.

Before sticking it in the bottle, Link twisted and tied the fuse to make it look like wings, then he stuck it in the bottle, being careful with the wings. Then, for the finishing touch, he sprinkled some fairy dust over it- AKA, Fairy excrement.

Satisfied, he said, "All set, now to find Mr. Fairy-Fairy-Oh-Where-Is-The-Fairy-So-I-Can-Eat-It." And with that, Link went to find Tingle, nearly jumping off the rungs of the ladder with anticipation.

Link found him trying to catch fairies… with his mouth. Feeling slightly nauseated, he lit the fuse in such a way that only the centre was lit. Link then stepped out of the shadows and began walking towards Tingle, saying, "Heya, Tingle!"

Tingle stopped trying to munch on the fairies and turned towards Link, who was holding a "fairy" in a bottle. "Is-Is that a… fairy? Gimme!" Link had a minute left, so he said, "Only for the price of-" before he could finish his sentence, however, he had his bottle snatched from his hands and a loaded wallet shoved into them.

"Keeep thee chaaaannge…" echoed back to Link. Suddenly, he remembered that it was a bomb, and ran for cover. *Booooooooooom…* Link sighed in relief, then looked again at the wallet, and said, "I was only gonna ask him for twenty rupees… I wonder how many rupees are in here?" curious, he looked inside… and roared in fury.

"That cheapskate! This wallet is filled with rocks! I'll kill him!" Link paused, thinking over how stupid that sounded. "Ok, I'll kill him again when I'm dead. Yeah."

* * *

Revived by Thinking that it actually was a fairy. What?

* * *


	4. 4, Death by Fish

1000 Ways to kill Navi and/or Tingle!

* * *

Credit for this one goes to** PNG Pyro**. Never quite the same as the original, I guess.  


* * *

Way no. 4- Death by fish. No, not Pufferfish.

Link held up his catch to the Bedaro, the fishing guy, who merely frowned at him. Bedaro sighed and said, "Link, you've caught much bigger fish than this before. What happened?"

Link threw the fish back into the fishing pond and responded, "Well… someone," Link shot a disapproving look at Navi, who was nagging the fish to death, and continued, "Lost my last bit of bait." Bedaro followed Link's stare to Navi, who was now nagging a couple of dead fish.

"Um… Alright Link, you'd better go get more bait." The child turned towards him, nodding, and ran towards the door. "Oh, and Link…" Link paused and turned his head towards him, listening. "Please take your fairy with you; she's killing all my fish."

He looked towards the pond, to see about half the populace dead. At least their ears- or in this case, gills, perhaps- weren't bleeding like that poor soldier at the town market. Reluctantly, he called to Navi, who went over to him, as they left to go get bait.

Navi began saying "Hey! Listen! Look! Hey!" as she started getting hit by dirt from Link digging for worms. She only quieted down when Link threw a rock over his shoulder and accidentally hit Navi, knocking her out.

'_Ah… blessed silence.'_ He thought as the assault on his ears ceased, and dug even faster now that he could actually use both hands. (He was holding his ears, or at least trying to, with one hand.)

After a few minutes, Link found the motherload, and began scooping as many of them as he could into his bait bucket. He managed to get the bucket half-full before the rest of the worms escaped, which was a lot, considering worms.

Link picked up the bucket, and was about to go inside, but was knocked over by Navi, who was extremely angry at him for hitting her with a rock. Link felt his grip on the bucket fail on him, as the bucket flew towards Lake Hylia- and fell into the deepest portion of it.

Link just stared at the place where the bucket fell into the lake, his hour of digging wasted. Suddenly, he grabbed Navi and went inside the fishing pond place. "Heya Link! Did you get your bait?" Badaro asked as he saw Link walk in with a giddy cat-that-ate-the-mouse look on his face.

He turned and said, "Yep! I got a unique one-of-a-kind bait… Hope it works!" and with that, he took his usual fishing rod off the wall, attached Navi to it, and cast it into the spot where most of the giants were.

The fish recognized the murderer of half of their friends, and avoided her… for a few seconds. Then, seeing that the ball of light was helpless, the largest fish in the pond latched onto Navi, not caring that he was being pulled towards the shore, and swallowed her whole.

When Link unlatched the hook from the fish's mouth, he was delighted to see that Navi was gone. Beaming, he held up his catch to Bedaro, who shone with happiness. "Another fine catch! In fact, this is probably the biggest fish there's ever been in the pond! Amazing!"

Link held out his hand and received twenty rupees and a whole pie. Happy, he left the fishing pond, while thinking, _'Another job well done! And I got to get rid of Navi too! That's enough of a bonus for me!'

* * *

_

Revived by living through the extremely weak stomach acid and GI tract of the fish. Ew.

* * *

Gimme an idea, any idea and I'll try to make it into a new chapter! Navi dying- once a day keeps boredom away!


End file.
